


Domestic Troubles

by Poippet



Series: Twice the Fun [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Stabdads, beforan stabdads, modified stabdads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-02
Updated: 2013-06-02
Packaged: 2017-12-13 18:10:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/827278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poippet/pseuds/Poippet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There were several things that Slick did not want to hear this early in the morning at 6am, especially having come home and crashed after a heist only two hours before hand, sore and reeking of gunpowder. Pretty close to the top of that list right now, was his sons voice shouting through the door as he slammed his fist against it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Domestic Troubles

**Author's Note:**

> This is a modified version of the popular Stabdads AU, its pretty simple really, Stabdads with the beforan trolls included. More family groupings will be revealed as I write more.

There were several things that Slick did not want to hear this early in the morning at 6am, especially having come home and crashed after a heist only two hours before hand, sore and reeking of gunpowder.

 Pretty close to the top of that list right now, was his sons voice shouting through the door as he slammed his fist against it. “Dad let me use your fucking shower!” The troll shouted through the wood.

 The stab-happy monster growled, gritting his fangs and pulling the pillow over his head to try to muffle out the sounds. “What th’ fuk fer?” Slick called back, through the mattress against his face and the pillow over his head, forgetting to yell at Karkat to watch his fucking mouth because it was that goddamn early in the morning.

 By Billious Slicks sweaty frog balls there was _sunlight_ coming in the window already. Screw his life straight up the- 

“Because she’s _hogging_ it again!”

 There were also several things that Slick regretted. And pretty close to the top of that list right now, was adopting these two trolls.

 He rolled out of bed, his old pained bones creaking and straining unhappily, half landing half falling on the floor. He hadn’t even bothered to undress. Slick could run for days without sleep, but that’s exactly where he was at right now, days without sleep. Slick growled and rubbed his eyes with his flesh hand, getting up unsteadily and shuffling to the door, yanking it open fast enough that he almost hit himself in the already crooked nose with it.

 He growled at his son, and Karkat just looked unimpressed, still in his pajamas with his own gray towel thrown over his shoulder.

 The mobster shuffled past him to deal with their little domestic dispute, heading upstairs to _their_ shared bathroom, Karkat scuttling behind him.

 Slick slammed his fist on the door, much the same way Karkat had done to him, (the little bastard got it somewhere didn’t he?) and hollered through the door. “Gettchur skinny butt out here and stop hoggin the bathroom so that he’ll stop bothering _me_.”

 “Hold the glub on jegus! I’m almost done!”

 “You said that fifteen minutes ago!” Karkat shouted back. Slick bipped him in the arm, he didn’t want the trolls fighting right now, he just wanted them to get ready and take themselves to school so he could _sleep_.

 He waited for all of thirty seconds before “ _Now_ Meenah!”

He heard an angry growl and the clatter of various make up items and jewelry he could easily imagine covering the sink counter as she shuffled through it. Finally footsteps approached the door and his eldest threw open the door. Today her weapons of choice appeared to be far, far too many gold spiked bracelets and black mesh over a black tank top. “If they send you back home fer wearin that yer gonna be grounded.” Slick threatened her. Meenahs attendance was horrible enough and the last parent teacher conference almost ended in Slick having to pay the teacher off to keep cops and child services out of the house. Thankfully it didn’t quite come to that, possibly out of the teacher’s sheer terror.

 “Waterever like that’d even stop me.” Meenah rolled her eyes, trying to trip Karkat as he shoved past her to claim the shower while he still had his chance.

 Ah the joys of parenthood.

 “This time I’ll nail yer hand to the wall to keep you put, see if I don’t.” Slick threatened her, shuffling away down the stairs, now that the problem seemed to be solved.

 “Oh! Hey! Old man!” Meenah said, bounding down the stairs after him, her boots thudding on the wood what seemed to be earshatteringly loud.

_Oh what the fuck now._

 “ _What_?” He snarled with bare fangs, whipping his head around at her.

 She was standing on the top stairs and holding her hand out. “Lunch money remember? For me and shoutersons. Not like we got any coddamn food we can _pack_. Gimme.”

 “Say please.” The old man grouched, digging in his ratty suit pockets for his deck, fumbling with the cards until his wallet turned up, fumbling with that anew. He shoved some bills in her hands without even looking at them, with the way her eyes lit up, it was probably a wad of twenties. Slick could just not be assed to care right now.

 “Glub yes!” Meenah kissed her Dersite ‘father’ on the cheek, leaving a big pink lipstick mark there, just to irritate him.

 He rubbed his cheek and pushed her away “Git th’ fuck outta here you little squid afore I-“

 “Gut me like a trout?” Meenah grinned at him, flashing her rows of sharp teeth. She bounded away from him laughing, heading towards the kitchen and Slick just groaned.

 Why, oh why, did he decide to keep _both_?


End file.
